In middle school, seventh grade to be exact, I became friends with one of the sweetest, most caring boys I had ever met. After switching from private to public school, I was in culture shock. I was overwhelmed, but my new friendship opened my eyes and allowed me to enjoy the life I was given. He constantly checked in on me when he noticed I was down. He always reached out and offered a lending hand.
As time progressed, we grew distant. Eventually, we stopped communicating with each other. We didn’t fight or have some big falling out. We simply stopped talking. The summer before our sophomore year of high school, I randomly texted him. We briefly talked, but that was it.
Months later, in December, I couldn’t get my friend out of my head. His favorite movie from middle school kept playing on TV. I wanted so badly to text him, but I thought it would be awkward and way too random. I decided not to.
Three days later, I received some of the most heart wrenching news. My middle school friend, the kid who helped me after my aunt passed away, the kid who carried me through, was no longer in my life. Suddenly and tragically, he died. To this day, I can’t help but think about the texts I should have sent. I will always regret not checking in and seeing how he was. He carried the weight of the world on his shoulders, and I could not even send a simple text to tell him he was on my mind.
You may be wondering why I decided to share such a personal story on such a public forum. I believe it is time to shed some light on the dark side of the moon, my moon. My life is not perfect, and I want to use my experiences to help others.
Simply put, I want other people to understand the importance of speaking up and letting things out. I know in my older posts I mentioned the freedom behind writing. I will not deny that. However, sometimes it takes more than a journal to truly break out of your own mind.
I have dealt with loss and death way too much over the years. One thing that I have learned through it all is that no one is guaranteed another day. As cliche as that may sound, it is very true. With that in mind, I cannot stress the importance of letting the ones you love and care about know exactly how much they mean to you. Tell them what is on your mind. If they hurt you, tell them. If they made you happy, tell them. If they made you proud, tell them. One of the worst feelings is having something on your mind and never taking the opportunity to let others know what you are thinking.
“You’d better know that in the end, it’s better to say too much than never to say what you need to say again.” -John Mayer